California Dreaming

There's one thing I can say for the combination of having kids, moving to a new state, turning forty, going through a global pandemic, and general world turmoil -- it sure makes you appreciate and lean on your tribe. There were lots of reasons that spurred our decision to leave the Bay Area -- chief among them was the desire to be closer to family, and that's been great, but I didn't fully appreciate how hard it would be to be so distanced from my friend group.

It's not easy to make friends later in life, especially if you work from home in a new city where you don't know many people. Truth is, I've had the same close group of friends for the past couple of decades. And a few of them have even been my friends since elementary school. I love all these people dearly – it is such a gift to continue to have them in my life. At this point, we all have so much context and history for who we are, and where we are in our lives. It’s a rare thing to have and I’m lucky to have it with them. We’ve watched each other grow and mature and we're bonded for life. You don’t make new old friends, you know? I've really missed seeing them all on a regular basis and having this reliable circle that's such a comfortable fit.

The height of the pandemic was so isolating for so many. I'm no exception to that. It's been harder than I expected to break out of that introverted pattern that was a result of just being home with immediate family all the time. I've had to really force myself to get out, get back to some semblance of normalcy, and make the effort to engage and find those long-dormant extroverted qualities to assist in building new connections and friendships. In order to do that, I've given myself the incentive of regular visits to see friends in the Bay, and it's been a life-saver. I feel like we all appreciate each other so much more now. Everyone is eager to support each other, to make time and space. I know I'll never take those friendships for granted again.

And of course, it's fun to revisit all my old spots. I was able to go down this weekend. The weather alone tempted me to move back. This visit was unique, as we were able to stay in the apartment building in Berkeley that I lived in for six years. It was a wild sensation - at one point I woke up in the middle of the night and wondered if my current life had been a dream.

My old apartment building in Berkeley

We packed a lot into a few days -- dinner at Pizzaiolo (of course,) brunch at Bette's on Forth Street, multiple walks down to Cole Coffee and La Farine for breakfast, and a drive to Sacramento to meet my BFFs new baby and cook a meal for them (this was the highlight.) The cherry on top was a trip out to Hog Island Oyster Company in Pt. Reyes, a place we've frequented over the years. A popular spot, it's totally unrivaled in its stunning location. While I wasn't able to join in the oysters (allergic, sadly) I am enthusiastic about the ritual of it all. I will happily hang out with you while you down a dozen oysters, even if I can't partake.

A few pictures.

I'm looking forward to a Mother/Daughter trip next time when my daughter is fully vaccinated. She hasn't been back since we moved away, and she's looking forward to seeing where she was born, along with the Golden Gate Bridge. The Eiffel Tower also made it onto her San Francisco wishlist, but I told her Sutro Tower would have to suffice for now.